are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
