i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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