fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
