Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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