I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
