I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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