I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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