Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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