Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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