The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
