you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize