It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
