I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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