She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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