I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
