sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You're like the curious george of whores
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's shark week go big or go home
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
