Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
