it wasn't lemon gatorade
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
