you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
