i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
