Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
