well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize