Don't you send me to vm
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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