Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
