im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
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You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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