I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
