The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
