I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
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i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
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No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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