why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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