She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wish i was in the wii world.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
