Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
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Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
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My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You were trust falling into bushes
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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