you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's shark week go big or go home
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
