they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Randomize
