Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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