it was like his penis was on wheels.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
