I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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