I want to make a zoo with you.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
