I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
