i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
