It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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