I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
