I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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