New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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