i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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