Non-Jews are for practice
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
