I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize