You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize