sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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