I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
