I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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