Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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