Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
