I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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