I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
