Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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