Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
