WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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