Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
