I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize