dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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