After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
